This morning as I was showering and thinking about my behavior, I realized that the real trouble behind my crankiness is that I haven't been acting yogically (technical term) despite my stress.
It's easy for those of us "on a path" to be a bit high and mighty about our way of life. We can feel like we've figured it out, like we have a goal in mind and we're working toward it. I can say to myself: despite picking on members of my household all month and whining about my inability to do anything because of my financial situation, I still practiced asana and meditated every day.
What a joke!
What good does it do me to continually improve my trikonasana if I'm being a jerk all day long? And what good does it do me to consider myself a yogi if I'm not continually putting my work into action?
The yoga of action or Karma yoga is one of two yogic paths exemplified in the Bhagavad Gita. While my situation is vastly different from that of Arjuna, one of two main characters, who is being asked to fight against his friends and family in war, the principle is the same--you have to act, to put your skills acquired through practice into action. Always. Lord Krishna says to Arjuna:
This is philosophy's wisdom;
now hear the wisdom of yoga.
Armed with this understanding,
you will shatter your karmic bonds.
On this path no effort is wasted,
no gain is ever reversed;
even a little of this practice
will shelter you from great sorrow. (2.39-2.40)
But then, perhaps more importantly, Krishna goes on to say:
Action is far inferior
to the yoga of insight, Arjuna.
Pitiful are those who, acting,
are attached to their action's fruits.
The wise man lets go of all
results, whether good or bad,
and is focused on the action alone.
Yoga is skill in actions. (2.49-2.50)
The point? In my own interpretation, the point is that if you act rightly and justly (yogically) at all times, you will not need to be attached to the outcome. You will know that you did your part and all that comes next is what it is.
So continue your daily asana practice, continue to meditate, continue to go to class and chant Om, but keep in mind that yoga is more than that. Yoga in action is kind, humble, calm and just. It is doing what you know to be right, even when everything else feels wrong.